Monday, September 28, 2009

Overworked and Underappreciated? When and How to Say “No”


Many of us – especially women – over schedule ourselves because we feel uncomfortable saying "no”. Why do we say “yes” when inside we’re screaming “no”? Maybe we have a hard time admitting we can’t do it all. Or maybe we feel guilty or afraid of disappointing others. Whatever the reason behind our reluctant "yes", learning to say no to requests can be one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our family. You’ll not only reduce stress, you’ll give yourself time for what’s really important.

So how do you know when to say “no”? The key is to remember that when you agree to new activities, you are saying "no" to something else as a result. Because of the limited number of hours each week, each activity you choose to take on will eliminate a different choice.
This week during your various activities, honestly ask yourself if there's something else that you'd rather be doing. Would you rather be spending time with your kids than helping your co-worker finish a project? Would you rather be working out than carpooling your friend’s kids after school? Stay conscious about your choices and you’ll start figuring out what needs to change. 

Okay so you’ve figured out what you should say “no” to, but now you need to know how to do it. Here are a few tips:
  • Be firm and polite. If you sound defensive or overly apologetic you just open the door to more pressure.
  • If you find yourself hesitating, tell the person you’ll get back to them once you’ve had a chance to think it over.
  • If asked for an explanation, give one if you’re comfortable doing so, but remember that you really don’t owe it to anyone.
Remember that there are only so many hours in the day so do what’s most important to you. Sometimes this means helping out friends, family, co-workers and neighbors. But at other times this means setting limits and saying “no”. Saying “no” can be one of the easiest ways to simplify!
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