Monday, December 7, 2009
5 Simple Things That Can Make Life Easier When Parents Reverse Roles
Now for many families the primary breadwinner is mom, and dad is the stay-at-home-parent. This can be very challenging. Many people, perhaps unconsciously, have long held views that a man is defined by what work he does and a woman is suppose to be a stay-at-home mom. We have to be careful of how we judge our own value.
The thing is whether you’re a man or a woman your true worth lies in acting responsibly toward your obligations and commitments. It comes down to two people deciding between themselves what will work to keep their family together.
Here are five simple things that can make life easier for couples who’ve had to adjust to the difficult economy:
1. Communication is vital. Each person needs to know how the other one feels. And since feelings are constantly changing, the lines of communication must be open all the time. Simple skills such as saying, “That makes me feel…” instead of accusing, “You always…You never,” can go a long way to smooth out hurt feelings.
2. Priorities need to be set. If goals are well-defined, the family can work together as a team to achieve what is most important for everyone’s happiness.
3. Schedules should be maintained. Routine is so important for children to thrive. Each person needs to know what is expected of him or her. And we definitely need to include time for the family to have fun together. You might want to check out a blog I’ve written earlier about how to combine what we have to do with what we want to do.
4. Commendation must be expressed often. We all need to be told we’re doing a good job and that we are appreciated. There just isn’t any place for a critical attitude.
5. Teamwork needs to be the key attitude. Remember, this is not about keeping control. As a working mom, we have to let dad take care of his new duties even if he doesn’t fold the towels like we want or he relates to the children differently than we would. And dad needs to understand when mom comes home exhausted.
Overwhelming tasks can be delegated. There’s no reason to feel guilty if you can’t do it all. Relieve the stress by finding someone to help you. Just think how you are helping the economy by giving someone a job. If you live in these areas: the Bay Area Peninsula and South Bay, including Palo Alto, Los Altos, Menlo Park, Atherton, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, and San Jose, Simplify can help you with setting up the services that you need.
Please share any suggestions that you’ve found to be helpful in coping with the changing roles in the family.
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